Crommunist’s Montreal Trip
Hey all,
After a brief hiatus I am back from a wonderful vacation. I went to visit a friend of mine who lives in Montreal. For those of you who don’t know, Montreal is a city in Quebec, the French-speaking province of Canada. Montreal is almost 100% bilingual though, so it wasn’t QUITE the trip into cocked-snoot territory.
Monday (August 23): Train to Montreal. Found out my French is as rusty as the iron hook that I’m going to jam into the face of the guy who is making me rework this whole post. THOUGHT I told the cab driver “4045 Clark Street please” when I actually said “I am fucking your wife and stealing your 8 year-old daughters panties while she sleeps”. Arrived at Stephanie’s place, caught up on stuff with her, then we went out for noodles. Sit-down Japanese restaurant with a white French-Canadian waitress (weird enough… 6/10 too). Now nothing against the Japanese. They make mighty fine cuisine, and ninjas are sweet, and go technology, but leave the beer to Canadians, okay? SWILL! Then off to the bar with “the gang” (consisting of Stephanie: hottie I met in Barbados and on whose couch I was crashing, Adrienne: friend of Stephanie with the body of a model and the mind of a genius, Matt: neophyte actor and will-be celebrity, Mark: Looks like the angry doctor from Scrubs but is really cool and Katie: OMFG, I think I’m in love – Emily, don’t read that last part). Chatted about nonsense and drank Guinness. Went home by way of a local brewery where I had a hemp beer (YUM).
Tuesday (August 24): Up early to pastry shop for breakfast, then watched everyone go off to work. Felt sad. Took half-bottle of Aspirin and a 26er of Jack Daniel’s. Felt a bit better. Regained consciousness and thought I was in heaven as I saw an angel standing over me, but it was just Katie, telling me it was time to go on a tour of Montreal. Walked around and tried to impress her with my Quebecois French accent, saw a street juggler, went to a costume shop, bought ice cream. Thought of buying gifts for my friends, but then remembered I didn’t have any money, so stiffed them instead. Back to Stephanie’s to shower (alone
) Went to Greek restaurant (jealous Poro?) and drank lots of wine with Stephanie and Adrienne, then out to this dance club where they played funk music. Saw some break-dancing. Tried to join the break-dancers, but apparently my style was too avant-garde (read: shitty) so I spent the evening grabbing their girlfriends’ asses instead (Emily, don’t read that part either… actually, just skip this whole post). On way home, stopped for 99 cent pizza. French got me in trouble again as instead of ordering a 99 cent slice of pizza, I ordered a 99 cent blowjob. Pizza wasn’t that good. Blowjob was all right.
Wednesday (August 25): Up early in the morning to buy more pastries. Then back to Stephanie’s for farewells, then off to the train station.
All in all, 10/10 for the trip. Yous guys are all welcome to come visit me in Toronto.
To the guy who made me repost this, I hate you.
To Poro, thanks for telling me about that guy who wished to remain anonymous.
After a brief hiatus I am back from a wonderful vacation. I went to visit a friend of mine who lives in Montreal. For those of you who don’t know, Montreal is a city in Quebec, the French-speaking province of Canada. Montreal is almost 100% bilingual though, so it wasn’t QUITE the trip into cocked-snoot territory.
Monday (August 23): Train to Montreal. Found out my French is as rusty as the iron hook that I’m going to jam into the face of the guy who is making me rework this whole post. THOUGHT I told the cab driver “4045 Clark Street please” when I actually said “I am fucking your wife and stealing your 8 year-old daughters panties while she sleeps”. Arrived at Stephanie’s place, caught up on stuff with her, then we went out for noodles. Sit-down Japanese restaurant with a white French-Canadian waitress (weird enough… 6/10 too). Now nothing against the Japanese. They make mighty fine cuisine, and ninjas are sweet, and go technology, but leave the beer to Canadians, okay? SWILL! Then off to the bar with “the gang” (consisting of Stephanie: hottie I met in Barbados and on whose couch I was crashing, Adrienne: friend of Stephanie with the body of a model and the mind of a genius, Matt: neophyte actor and will-be celebrity, Mark: Looks like the angry doctor from Scrubs but is really cool and Katie: OMFG, I think I’m in love – Emily, don’t read that last part). Chatted about nonsense and drank Guinness. Went home by way of a local brewery where I had a hemp beer (YUM).
Tuesday (August 24): Up early to pastry shop for breakfast, then watched everyone go off to work. Felt sad. Took half-bottle of Aspirin and a 26er of Jack Daniel’s. Felt a bit better. Regained consciousness and thought I was in heaven as I saw an angel standing over me, but it was just Katie, telling me it was time to go on a tour of Montreal. Walked around and tried to impress her with my Quebecois French accent, saw a street juggler, went to a costume shop, bought ice cream. Thought of buying gifts for my friends, but then remembered I didn’t have any money, so stiffed them instead. Back to Stephanie’s to shower (alone
) Went to Greek restaurant (jealous Poro?) and drank lots of wine with Stephanie and Adrienne, then out to this dance club where they played funk music. Saw some break-dancing. Tried to join the break-dancers, but apparently my style was too avant-garde (read: shitty) so I spent the evening grabbing their girlfriends’ asses instead (Emily, don’t read that part either… actually, just skip this whole post). On way home, stopped for 99 cent pizza. French got me in trouble again as instead of ordering a 99 cent slice of pizza, I ordered a 99 cent blowjob. Pizza wasn’t that good. Blowjob was all right.Wednesday (August 25): Up early in the morning to buy more pastries. Then back to Stephanie’s for farewells, then off to the train station.
All in all, 10/10 for the trip. Yous guys are all welcome to come visit me in Toronto.
To the guy who made me repost this, I hate you.
To Poro, thanks for telling me about that guy who wished to remain anonymous.
Posted by Crommunist @ 5:18 pm