Poromenos’ vacation.
Today I just came back from a 7-day vacation to Parga (it’s a small town in Greece, I don’t expect you to know where it is). It was overall nice, and I shall go into more detail at once. Here are some things that I liked and some things that I didn’t like about it, with pictures.
Good: The women on the beach were all topless.
Bad: The women on the beach were all over 50 years old.
Conclusion: Girls. I would love to see your boobs, but only if they don’t cause me nightmares. Most of the women could easily hide their breasts in their thongs, that is UNACCEPTABLE. One woman even had a navel ring and was affectionately kissing and hugging her significant other, who could have easily passed for a fossil. Another shameless couple proceeded to remove their bathing suits once they entered the water, and took a few dives, looking like sperm whales with their white asses. None of them were Greeks, because 1) we kill all the women over 40 and 2) we kill all the ugly women. This helps to strengthen our genetic predisposition towards beauty by selective breeding. Also it rocks. So, bottom line is, if you are over 25 or are not slim, please bathe in a nightgown.
Good: The food was very good or very cheap.
Bad: Never both.
Conclusion: What the hell is this? Why do I have to eat food prepared 4 hours ago and warmed up? What’s wrong with you people? There were, of course, classy restaurants that were quite expensive (well, I’m overreacting, they were like $9 per person). Foreigners excelled in this area, as the classy restaurants’ owners were English, Dutch or the generic-blond-with-blue-eyes-countryman type. So it was overall nice, if you knew where to eat (by the way, the English waitress was HOT).
Good: There were some HOT chicks there.
Bad: They wouldn’t even look at me.
Conclusion: I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that I don’t speak English. I’m 1.89 85 kgs (that’s like 1ft 1.230lbs for you weird people) and they wouldn’t even look at me. LOOK AT ME, I SAID. But no. Maybe it’s because I was with my family. Maybe it’s because they were with their boyfriends. Hm, nah, that can’t be it. But, girls, my phone number is 555-1234. If you saw me and didn’t look at me because you were with your boyfriend, please call me. Also, ATTENTION: To hot Swedish-looking chick who got her caricature drawn with her boyfriend: I know you were looking at me, call me at the aforementioned number. Kthx.
Below are some pictures of my holidays:
This is a hot chick ignoring me.
This is me sunbathing.
This is me fishing underwater.
This is me eating at a Mexican restaurant.
This is a topless 50 year old topless woman with a pot belly.
I hope you enjoyed looking at my vacation pictures as much as I enjoyed looking at old womens’ breasts. Bastards.
Good: The women on the beach were all topless.
Bad: The women on the beach were all over 50 years old.
Conclusion: Girls. I would love to see your boobs, but only if they don’t cause me nightmares. Most of the women could easily hide their breasts in their thongs, that is UNACCEPTABLE. One woman even had a navel ring and was affectionately kissing and hugging her significant other, who could have easily passed for a fossil. Another shameless couple proceeded to remove their bathing suits once they entered the water, and took a few dives, looking like sperm whales with their white asses. None of them were Greeks, because 1) we kill all the women over 40 and 2) we kill all the ugly women. This helps to strengthen our genetic predisposition towards beauty by selective breeding. Also it rocks. So, bottom line is, if you are over 25 or are not slim, please bathe in a nightgown.
Good: The food was very good or very cheap.
Bad: Never both.
Conclusion: What the hell is this? Why do I have to eat food prepared 4 hours ago and warmed up? What’s wrong with you people? There were, of course, classy restaurants that were quite expensive (well, I’m overreacting, they were like $9 per person). Foreigners excelled in this area, as the classy restaurants’ owners were English, Dutch or the generic-blond-with-blue-eyes-countryman type. So it was overall nice, if you knew where to eat (by the way, the English waitress was HOT).
Good: There were some HOT chicks there.
Bad: They wouldn’t even look at me.
Conclusion: I don’t know. Maybe it’s the fact that I don’t speak English. I’m 1.89 85 kgs (that’s like 1ft 1.230lbs for you weird people) and they wouldn’t even look at me. LOOK AT ME, I SAID. But no. Maybe it’s because I was with my family. Maybe it’s because they were with their boyfriends. Hm, nah, that can’t be it. But, girls, my phone number is 555-1234. If you saw me and didn’t look at me because you were with your boyfriend, please call me. Also, ATTENTION: To hot Swedish-looking chick who got her caricature drawn with her boyfriend: I know you were looking at me, call me at the aforementioned number. Kthx.
Below are some pictures of my holidays:
This is a hot chick ignoring me.
This is me sunbathing.
This is me fishing underwater.
This is me eating at a Mexican restaurant.
This is a topless 50 year old topless woman with a pot belly.
I hope you enjoyed looking at my vacation pictures as much as I enjoyed looking at old womens’ breasts. Bastards.
Posted by Poromenos @ 8:15 pm |
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) Went to Greek restaurant (jealous Poro?) and drank lots of wine with Stephanie and Adrienne, then out to this dance club where they played funk music. Saw some break-dancing. Tried to join the break-dancers, but apparently my style was too avant-garde (read: shitty) so I spent the evening grabbing their girlfriends’ asses instead (Emily, don’t read that part either… actually, just skip this whole post). On way home, stopped for 99 cent pizza. French got me in trouble again as instead of ordering a 99 cent slice of pizza, I ordered a 99 cent blowjob. Pizza wasn’t that good. Blowjob was all right.