Where have I been?
Last Saturday I was sitting at my computer, doing some work, talking to some people, nothing that you could call strenuous, when suddenly my computer turned off. Puzzled by this sudden development, I attempted valiantly to turn my computer back on, but to no avail. Despite all kinds of tests and attempts to reboot, reformat, reinstall, my computer had gone from elite, sleek computating machine to expensive paperweight. I called home and asked my dad if there was anything to be done. He told me that he would come get my computer and return it to the shop from whence it came. Forthwith, he told me that the man at the shop had confirmed that it was a problem with the memory. Apparently it wasn’t compatible with my motherboard, or somesuch.
Here is the question: if these guys BUILT my computer, how could my memory be incompatible? No no no, this my friends does not (with apologies for the pun) COMPUTE. I had a week to think it over, and I think I know what really happened to my computer.
Memory, I have been told, comes in sticks, much like those you would find on a tree. These sticks are also like chips, however. Some memory is Barbecue (SD RAM) while others are Salt & Vinegar (DDR – or Dance, Dance, Revolution). These chips are fed to your computer, and they remember things for you, like where you put that file, and when your taxes are due, and the name of that girl you met at the bar (was it Leonor?).
However, instead of sticks or chips, the good people at the store (I won’t mention the name, because it would highlight their incompetence – let’s just say it rhymes with “Brampton Computes”) put in a cheese sandwich. And instead of a power supply, they put in a hamster on a wheel. When I press the power button, it opens a little slot so that the hamster tries to run towards the cheese sandwich, but ends up powering the computer instead. However, when I turned off my computer one night, apparently the hamster said “Fuck this shit”, jumped the wall and ate the cheese sandwich. It then died from eating 3 month-old, unrefrigerated cheese. The result: paperweight.
And so, dear readers, fear not. I am back and will be posting regularly.
Here is the question: if these guys BUILT my computer, how could my memory be incompatible? No no no, this my friends does not (with apologies for the pun) COMPUTE. I had a week to think it over, and I think I know what really happened to my computer.
Memory, I have been told, comes in sticks, much like those you would find on a tree. These sticks are also like chips, however. Some memory is Barbecue (SD RAM) while others are Salt & Vinegar (DDR – or Dance, Dance, Revolution). These chips are fed to your computer, and they remember things for you, like where you put that file, and when your taxes are due, and the name of that girl you met at the bar (was it Leonor?).
However, instead of sticks or chips, the good people at the store (I won’t mention the name, because it would highlight their incompetence – let’s just say it rhymes with “Brampton Computes”) put in a cheese sandwich. And instead of a power supply, they put in a hamster on a wheel. When I press the power button, it opens a little slot so that the hamster tries to run towards the cheese sandwich, but ends up powering the computer instead. However, when I turned off my computer one night, apparently the hamster said “Fuck this shit”, jumped the wall and ate the cheese sandwich. It then died from eating 3 month-old, unrefrigerated cheese. The result: paperweight.
And so, dear readers, fear not. I am back and will be posting regularly.
Posted by Crommunist @ 9:12 pm