On behalf of Poromenos and myself, I’d like to wish all of our readers a happy and joyful Christmas holiday. If you don’t celebrate Christmas, please follow this simple mathematical instruction


IF ((Religion = Christianity) or (Religion = North American or European secular) then %1 = ‘Christmas’)
IF ((Religion = Judaism) or (you just like to wear a yarmukle) then %1 = ‘Chanukah’)
IF ((Religion = Russian Orthodox) or (Religion = Greek Orthodox) then %1 = ‘Your calendar is off by two weeks, Christmas is Dec 25th, not Jan 7th, you weirdo’)
IF ((Religion = Hindu) or (Religion = Buddhist) then %1 = ‘Day of double pay at your job’)
IF ((Religion = Muslim) then %1 = ‘Christmas. We know you celebrate the Santa part. Dun worry, we won’t tell anyone.’


And those of you who are computer geeks will jump down my throat saying “Um, excuse me Skivven, that is not actually any computer or mathematical code. Why are you making things up?” OMFG MY NAME IS NOT SKIVVEN! The question you SHOULD be asking yourself is “Why am I reading a blog on Christmas instead of hitting on my cousin’s new wife?”

Happy Whatever, people.