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Happy Birthday Poro!

June 24th, 2005
Filed under General

Today, Poromenos turns an astoundingly ancient 22 years old.

There are many reasons why 22 is a remarkable milestone. Let’s run down a few of them.

  1. It is a multiple of 11, and multiples of 11 make the ladies hot
  2. In certain sub-Saharan countries, 22 is the age at which men must wrestle large alligators for tribal supremacy. Whoever gets eaten the least becomes leader of the tribe. Those who fail to not get eaten… well they get eaten and nobody really cares.
  3. 22 is the exact age at which Mozart wrote his 187th opera entitled “Does anyone even listen to these anymore?” starring Tom Cruise and Barry Manilow. Incidentally, 187 is also a multiple of 11.
  4. $22 gets you a bucket of chicken and a 40 oz. bottle of malt liquor in Detroit. 22 euros buys you a house and 11 Swiss manservants.

For all these reasons and more, happy birthday Poro. Please leave your love in the form of comments and T-shirt orders.

Bands I Like: Sage Francis

June 24th, 2005
Filed under Bands I Like, Entertainment, Music

Yes folks, it is time for yet another edition of…

Bands I like

This month we’ll be looking at an artist (not a band, sorry) that was brought to my attention by my buddy Ken when he was introducing me to a lot of hip-hop music. He cautioned me that Sage is not strictly hip-hop, but I decided to give it a try anyways. I’m really glad I did.

Sage Francis (or Paul Francis as he is otherwise known) pioneers a really effective fusion of spoken-word poetry and hip-hop. He is the front man for his group Art Official Intelligence (AOI). Anyone who read the BIL about The Weakerthans and liked the lyrical depth will NOT be disappointed by Sage:

… is she buying it? I tilt my glass and drink the phlegm, she’s still scoping in fact this chick’s a 10
At least in my book, which isn’t all that well read, but it’s been said
That when she gets her grip on men they simply bend backwards
She attracts nerds, jocks, substitutes and student teachers,
Who all profess their love for all of her protruding features…

It’s difficult for me to pick one good quote from Sage, so I have posted this exerpt from the middle of Cafe Girl and instead ask you guys to download some of the titles I’ve indicated below, because it wouldn’t do the music justice to judge it by a couple lines.

Sage’s sardonic sense of humour, coupled with his incredible skills as a lyricist make his stuff really interesting to listen to. This is boosted by the fact that he’s not another carbon-copy rapper talking about bitches, booze and blunts. One of my favourites is a song about blind fealty to brand power called Narcissist: “I don’t look at myself in the mirror because I’m a narcissist, I simply like to watch myself exist“. Other songs like “Makeshift Patriot” and “Sage Kills” are reactions to Sept 11 and the resulting war in the gulf. Many others are drawn from personal experience.

Sage is also very outspoken in his criticism of the state of rap music, which he is justified in doing, since he is great and gets very little recognition, while rappers with no talent are making money in fistfuls. For example, at an outdoor festival in England, Sage performed a song in which the chorus was “I’ve seen 99 rappers, but Jay-Z ain’t one”.

Sage once again fulfills my requirements for an ideal artist. He’s obscure enough that I can still feel cool talking about him, but not so esoteric that nobody’s heard of him. He’s incredibly lyrically strong, and in terms of production and the back beat he’s more than acceptable. His live stuff is a lot of fun to listen to as well.

If you’re interested in Sage, check out some of these titles

  • Hopeless (this one is just a poem, but it is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever heard)
  • Narcissist
  • Andy Kauffman
  • Makeshift Patriot
  • The Write/The Rewrite/The Threewrite
  • Cafe Girl
  • Her Schlag