I am on the bus right now, continuing my odyssey of a journey towards home for the summer, like a swallow or something, except I’m not flying. And do you know how I know I’m not flying? Because if I was I wouldn’t have to put up with these whining pussies next to me. Now, I don’t like generalisation, and just as I wouldn’t like a woman to say “Men are pigs” I’m not going to say “Women are whiners”, but these women sure are. By the way, forsooth the following are really actual things I indeed heard them say during the trip, verily. Seriously though, they did say everything in the list below. Except that last thing, which I added to make them look bad. But it doesn’t, now, because I told you it is fake, so what’s the point in adding it? Oh well, I’ll add it anyway to make it longer.

  1. “Oh my god, the rest stop is closed. OMGOMGOMGOMG THE HORRAR! I NEED TO PEE! I NEED TO EAT! I NEED TO BROSH MY HARE!” Shut the fuck up, woman, you ate yesterday! The fucking stop is closed, deal with it.
  2. “Omg the driver should just go instead of waiting here omg why is he waiting omg the stop is closed omg I will complane to teh preseident!” The driver is fucking waiting for people to get on the bus, bitch, what the hell! Although, good idea, he should just go. Hey, is that a restroom down there? Go pee, sure you have time.
  3. “Omg teh drivar is going 2 fast 2 furious!!111one”. Oh no, he’s not doing 10 km/h, stop the presses! You were still going to complain if you were late, so it’s a lose/lose situation for the driver.
  4. “Omg my ticket has no name on it, what if I lose it, then anyone can claim it! They should write the name on the ticket”. That is an ingenious idea, actually. They should write the name on the ticket. But you shouldn’t complain when you get carded and logged getting a fucking ticket because they have to write your fucking dumbass name on it. Don’t lose the ticket, skank! It’s not as hard as it sounds, Try it. I’ve done it lots of times.
  5. “I suck cock.”

I feel much better now. It was either writing this or killing the crazy bitches. They don’t know it, but they are very very lucky my laptop battery wasn’t dead.

Postscriptum: The driver is actually going a bit too fast. I hope I live to post this. Well, if you’re reading this I probably did, so I’m glad.