Things I don’t understand
I pride myself on being a person who can think intelligently and ponder the mysteries of life to a satisfactory conclusion. However, I find as I get older that I encounter more frequently a list of:
Things I don’t understand
Theoretical particle physics
I tried to read a book that “simplifies” quantum theory and subparticle physics. I am almost 100% sure that the scientists who came up with this stuff in the 70s were just making things up. Apparetly up and down quarks come in an assorted number of flavours and charms. The exact number of charms are unknown, but many eminent scientists believe that the number includes Green Clovers, Red Balloons, Blue Moons, Black-Eyed wives and other Irish stereotypes.
The interaction of brain and mind.
We have as yet been completely unable to discover the seat of thought. We know it must be somewhere in the brain, but where? There is a part of us capable of wondering what part of us wonders… then other parts try to figure out what the hell we are asking… and some parts wander off and mentally undress the girl sitting across from you on the subway. What is overwhelmingly evident is that we are not in full control of our minds… or our pants.
What girls do when they are “freshening up”
There are a great number of things I know that must be kept fresh. Fish, fruit, funky rhymes… all these things are best when fresh. What exactly needs to be kept fresh about a live person? Do women have buckets of ice or refrigeration systems in the bathrooms that keep them from spoiling? Or are they just embarassed to say “I am going to the bathroom to release some chocolate hostages”? We all took science in elementary school ladies, we know that you poop.
Jamaican people
I once tried to copy/paste some Sean Paul lyrics into a Word document for a project I was working on. When I hit CTRL+V, my computer hummed, buzzed, beeped, then self-destructed. I brought it into the computer guy and he said that my spell-checker had overloaded. Someone desperately needs to go to Jamaica and give elocution lessons before we’re all talking like “Why fe de bway gon’ chase de gyal dem, mon?”
Why it takes women like… 30 years to get ready for something
Shower … 10 minutes
Dry hair … 15 minutes? (I don’t know, I don’t need a hair dryer… white people are suckers)
Put on pants … 2 minutes if you are real big-like
Put on shirt … 1 minute
??? … 3 hours, 22 minutes
Ladies, please help us out. What is it you are DOING that causes you to be unable to get ready before the ice age is upon us?
There is no satisfactory way to end this post.
Freshening up usually means the girl 1. is actually going to the bathroom, 2. is putting on make up, or 3. has run off to gossip about you (or someone else in the area). As for the getting ready thing…showering, shaving and blowdrying take way longer than you guessed. As for the rest, I’m as clueless as you. It should never take longer than an hour to do everything.
Comment on July 19, 2005 @ 6:16 pm
Haha…boys boys…do you REALLY think you got the time estimates right?
washing/conditioning hair (especially long hair), shaving, doing hair, putting make-up on, choosing an outfit, changing mind about an outfit, choosing shoes…these things take time, dear!
Comment on July 20, 2005 @ 2:32 pm
I am determined to shed light on the female freshening up situation. There is a club in my city with a coed bathroom. I shall sit in there next time I go and stalk the girls and see what they are doing. Stay tuned.
Comment on July 20, 2005 @ 4:37 pm
hey! could you plz invite me to orkut.com
plz plz
BTW..i dunno abt other gals but i take to the max 30 minutes in getting ready…WHEN I REALLY DONT HAVE TIME..so I guess it depends which gal has time to kill..and the other which needs time to do all this..to kill guys with her looks..:) kidding..
Comment on July 26, 2005 @ 2:16 pm
btw my email is..
simran.tiwana@gmail.com
Comment on July 26, 2005 @ 2:17 pm
There is no seat of consciousness. Consciousness is distributed and parallell – the feeling that it’s sequential is an illusion.
Apart from that, it’s reasonably simple: The neural networks of the brain and body function as pattern recognizers, including matching previous patterns in the network. On a slightly higher level, “thought” functions by simulation of potential experience in one of the senses, and forces a certain level of precision from underlying patterns being matched.
Comment on August 9, 2005 @ 1:24 pm
Haha, I love us geeks. We are able to answer questions about everything in depth, but miss the obvious fact that some questions are rhetorical :
P. Other than that, thanks for the comment and the insight on neural nets, Eek :).Comment on August 9, 2005 @ 3:23 pm
However, you have failed to explain where the IMPETUS of thought arises. Assuming for a moment that your explanation of the ‘illusion of consciousness’ is valid, it cannot explain how thought can arise in a system that HAS no previous pattern to recognize, such as when we are conceived. We know that at some point we do think, but from whence does the capacity for thought come?
Also, OMG a smart person posting comments on the site…
Comment on August 9, 2005 @ 3:25 pm
Oh, and also…
Simran, please go and die.
Thank you.
Comment on August 9, 2005 @ 3:28 pm
urgh scientists
Comment on February 2, 2007 @ 6:10 pm
chocolate hostages hahahahhahhhhhaaaaa
Comment on February 2, 2007 @ 6:16 pm
u forgot the relaxing time aka read book, paper, watch tv, plus shitting time, then 30 minute nap time aka mastrubation around the nation because i have rampant desire
Comment on February 2, 2007 @ 6:17 pm