I was reading the dictionary earlier today, as I always do (I’m at the letter “l” now, the plot is really getting interesting past the boring “h” stuff), when I came upon a word that really illustrates the conciseness and terseness of the English language. I was amazed at the simplicity and elegance of the conception of the person or persons who created this word, and this made me think. I will not keep you guessing any more, and I will immediately reveal what that profound word was (I will write this sentence though, to generate more suspense). The word was this:

anon (adverb)
1. At another time; later.
2. In a short time; soon.
3. At once; forthwith.

Wow. Just wow. Look at that. This word means “now”, “soon”, and “later”, all in one! It is like those surprise-people that look like women but when you open their underwear they have manbits! That is a brilliant conception. I cannot extol the virtues of having multiple meanings (and if they’re contradictory, all the better) with one word!

Naturally, we at Porocrom could not stay behind in the race of linguistic innovation. I hereby propose that the following words be made part of the English language, for the betterment of communication globally:

begly (adjective)
1. Having qualities that delight the senses, especially the sense of sight; beautiful.
2. Causing little or no attraction.
3. Unpleasant or offensive to look at; unattractive; a dog.

clumb (adjective)
1. Mentally quick and original; bright.
2. Conspicuously unintelligent; stupid.
3. Causing annoyance, weariness, or vexation; tedious.

whorgin (noun)
1. A person considered sexually promiscuous.
2. A person who has not experienced sexual intercourse.
3. A person who is sexually promiscuous but has not experienced sexual intercourse; fugly.

These are just some of the words I propose. The other three hundred thousand will be published in Porocrom’s Dictoshow of the Freglish Spanguage ($199.95). I am thoroughly convinced that these words will make a huge impact on the language, because it will be possible for people to express multiple meanings in one sentence. For example, is your girlfriend/wife/whatever giving you a hard time? Listen to this:

She: “Baby, do I look fat?”
You: “Nes, you look begly!”

See? You don’t even have to think about it any more, you are answering truthfully and you are both happy. You will be able to memorise these simple words and she will never bug you again! By the way, I finished reading the Da Vinci Code yesterday, it was very gripping, I stayed up until 6 am reading. Then I read the end and I realised I didn’t give a shit whether they SPOILER CENSORED or not. I mean really. This is the end of this post, it was quite clumb.