Porocrom’s Crappaper

This week I’ll be talking about Winnepeg’s own The Weakerthans

I first heard The Weakerthans when I saw the video for “Our Retired Explorer” on Much Music. If you haven’t seen it, it’s worth a look. A guy lives underground in the Antarctic. The song is great to listen to as well. Many of you may be more familiar with their most recent single “The Reasons”:

I don’t know how to sing
I can barely play this thing
But you never seem to mind
And you tell me to back off

The single was released this past summer to great accolade among pseudo-intellectuals (read: music snobs) but pretty much ignored by mainstream media.

The Weakerthans are one of my favourites for two main reasons

The Reasons

1 – Lyrics
Okay, for all you cynics out there who think that Canadians have butchered the art of song-writing, put down the Avril Lavigne, put down the Nickelback, put down the Sum 41… you can pick up Celine Dion but only if you drop her off of something very tall into something very fattening. John Sampson of the Weakerthans might be the best lyricist I have ever come across (and he can SING too, so in your face Leonard Cohen!). The two words that immediately spring to mind when trying to describe Sampson’s style are ‘organic’ and ‘honest’. For a prime example of what I mean, check out “My Favourite Chords” or “Reconstruction Site”. All of the metaphors and similes and anecdotes are seemingly drawn from personal experience, and are so in tune with the small-town Canadian heart that I wonder if Gord Downie doesn’t shed a tear to hear them.

2 – Relative Obscurity
One thing I look for in a band is that they’re not incredibly popular. This may make me a music snob (read: stupid prick), but I think a certain level of poverty keeps a band honest. If you don’t believe me, look at bands like Weezer and Metallica that had HUGE fan bases until they got rich, alienating the fans that filled their pockets. There is a flipside to this though, because I have seen the bands that the hardcore music snobs listen to, and they suck. Yeah that’s right Bombs Over Providence, I saw you open for Flashlight Brown at the 360 and you guys suck. Hmm, imagine seeing System of a Down, except instead of hard-hitting, insightful lyrics, they’ve used a dart board and a dictionary, and instead of killer guitar riffs and bass lines, they’ve used a tenderizing mallet and an electric ukelele. That’s Bombs‘ live show. But we’re not talking about them.

The Weakerthans are obscure enough that I still get the satisfaction of knowing I can still impress my friends with them, but not so obscure that I can’t meet at least one cute girl at a party who’s got a copy of Fallow in her CD rotation and would I like to come back to her place to have a listen. The only thing that makes me sad is that they’re not so popular that they get to headline shows, and have to open for lesser bands.


Anyways, suffice it to say, The Weakerthans are a certified Crommunist pick. This isn’t head-banging like Muse or tear-jerking like… well… Muse. More toe-tappin’ like Cake, but without the American roots. If you’re looking for some tracks by which to judge them, here are a few suggestions:

- My Favourite Chords
- Manifest
- A plea from a cat named Virtue
- Leash
- Fallow
- Sounds Familiar


Stay tuned, hopefully something funny will happen and I can write about it. Until such an occurrence, I’ll keep writing these.

Hello all,

I know I spend a lot of time talking about (read: satirizing) things I don’t like. So you may ask yourself, Skivven, what DO you like? Well, idiot, my name isn’t Skivven so you’re starting off on the wrong foot.

Well kids, I like music. I like music a lot. So, from time to time I will be releasing reviews on bands that I like to listen to, songs that hold particular meaning for me, and the like.

Before I get started, I need to plug a Waterloo band called Glory Fades. They have just released a 6-track disc under the title Anne Esthetic. I got a chance to catch up to the band at a record signing at Tower Records in New York City.

Crom: Hey guys, thanks for agreeing to this interview
GF: Hi Ian. What are you talking about?
Crom: So I’ve heard the disc, and it’s fantastic. I gotta ask, is it true what they say about rock-stars and hyperchondriasis?
GF: Um… I dunno, what do they say?
Crom: HAHAHA! You guys are too funny. So tell me, Anne Esthetic. What’s that about? Word on the street is that she is some chick you met at a hospital, am I right?
GF: Actually, it is a very clever play on the word ‘anesthetic’, which is a type of drug used to…
Crom: OUTSTANDING! I heard your world tour was a huge success. Tell me about it.
GF: World Tour? Maybe from UW to Laurier, but that hardly qualifies as…
Crom: You don’t say. Penguins? I wouldn’t think that avian creatures would enjoy your particular brand of thought-provoking rock and roll.
GF: Penguins? WTF?
Crom: Hmm, I see. Well guys, thanks for taking the time to talk to me.

Glory Fades’ star is rising, and THIS humble reporter was there at the ground floor.

Anyways, enough non-sequitur nonsense. On to serious business.

I would be remiss if I started a music column without doing my first post about THIS band. Started out of Nashville, Tennessee, they released their first album (entitled Motorcade of Generosity) in 1994. The band was none other than Cake. Since their somewhat obscure first album, they went on to garner major public recognition with their second album, Fashion Nugget. In addition to the smash hit “The Distance”, Cake released a cover of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive” that presented the band’s quirky yet rugged sound in a song that still gets air-play, almost 10 years later. 1998’s Prolonging the Magic gave us “Sheep go to Heaven (Goats go to Hell)” and “Never There”. In 2001, the single “Short Skirt, Long Jacket” – arguably Cake’s most recognized single – announced the release of the Comfort Eagle album. They are expected to release a new album entitled Pressure Chief and have already leaked the single No Phone over the radio.

Now that the crazy reporter bullshitting is over, here is my take on Cake. Most bands coming out with rock music seem primarily concerned with sounding EXACTLY like another band (I submit for your consideration Creed/Tea Party/Nickelback/Theory of a Deadman/Default/etc. etc.). Cake, I found, was something brand new. They took a lot of different influences; funk, bluegrass, rock, pop, and some definite tips of the hat to classical music, and wove it into a unique style. I’ve heard some people complain about John McCrea’s relentless syncopation and unspectacular voice (Justin Ellsworth – “It makes me want to punch myself in the dick”). John’s singing is very stylized, but it is almost instrumental in its composition. It blends with the other instruments to form a solid core of music. Instead of being the focus (i.e. Velvet Revolver, anything with Perry Farell in it, the Vienna Boy’s Choir), his voice is just another element of the music.

Another thing I really like about Cake is their unique use of instrumentation. This is particularly visible on Prolonging the Magic where some of the instruments used include: Moogwai synthesizer, mandolin, various steel and pedal guitars, and musical saw! They also have a full-time trumpet player, long before those assholes with the bagpipes came along, or those pussies in Yellowcard with their electric violin (the guy stinks by the way. When I could hear him over the lead singer’s weeping, my immediate thought was something along the lines of “Suzuki book 3”).

So listen to Cake when you get a chance. I recommend the following songs:

• She’ll Come Back to Me
• Mexico
• Hem of Your Garment
• Symphony in C
• Pretty Pink Ribbon
• Stickshifts and Safety Belts
• I Bombed Korea
• Mr. Mastodon Farm